Writing an empathy card

from above person writing on blank card

Not sure what to write in your card?  We've got you covered. 

Writing an empathy card can be an emotional experience. Finding the right words to comfort someone is often difficult. Remember that the card is only the beginning of a conversation so you don't need to say everything all at once.  

  • To continue the conversation be ready to listen quietly to understand their perspective, connect with and validate their emotions and respond in a way that makes them feel heard, valued, visible and safe.  (This is where empathy training can help).  Please AVOID platitudes, clichés or unsolicited advice as well as 'I know how you feel' (everyone experiences things differently).  Create a safe space for them be supported to feel all the feels.

Try to use these ideas as inspiration, because the most meaningful messages come from your heart.

Remember to:

  • Keep it brief
  • Offer to help (be specific)
  • Speak from the heart.
  • Be yourself

Try to avoid:

  • Platitudes (what doesn't kill you makes you stronger).
  • Cliches (things happen for a reason)
  • Unsolicited advice (you should ...)
  • Minimising (at least....)
  • I know how you feel (everyone experiences things differently)
  • Call if you need me (offer specific help and be proactive - they probably have enough to think about).

Some ideas:

Dear X, My Dearest X, (or some sort of salutation...)

  • This sucks.  I'm here for you when you're ready.
  • The cover says it all.  I'm here for you.
  • I'm sorry you're having a rubbish time.  I'll call you next week.
  • May you be surrounded by love and support.
  • My heart is aching for you.
  • Sending you love.
  • Sending you a big hug.
  • Wishing I was there to hug you.
  • I'm thinking of you.
  • I'm always here if you want to talk
  • You are doing a great job at life right now.
  • I'll always have your back.
  • I'm not going anywhere.
  • Love, me

If you'd like to learn more about grief and how to support someone - please check out our episode of The Empathy Podcast - Empathy and Grief with Tiffany Bartlett - a young widow who had recently lost her husband.

If you're still stuck, there's always Google.